Have Grace... With Yourself and Others.

I know it’s been a little quiet around here lately but we’ve been over here trying to navigate our new normal.

Life’s been a little busier homeschooling five children, who range from grade 5 to grade 9 as well as sharing my usual home office and workspace!

Normally, in my world Monday means content creation and podcast batch recordings... but lately Monday looks a little more like homeschooling in the dining room and organizing our workload calendar for the week. 

Being a creature of routine and habit, it was a bit of a difficult pill to swallow at first, when everything changed, literally overnight!

I had a definite schedule that I followed when it came to my business. A schedule I thrived inside of! And I had to adjust to a multitude of changes in an instant.

When we first entered this crazy time of self isolation and being stuck at home I felt a surge of overwhelm and was unsure how I was going to pull this all off. I mean trying to grow and scale a business is more than a full-time job on its own,  but add on homeschooling five kids, and holy crap!! *insert instant overwhelm!

It was clear to me though, right away, what my priority in this new normal would be. Sure this shift in schedule and routine was a hard pill for me to swallow what did that mean for my kids?

Their world flipped upside down just as mine had, and they were looking to me for normalcy. So I promptly put on my teacher hat and was prepared to rock this thing. We rearranged our dining room table to accommodate six laptops and whatever other school supplies were needed for that days lesson. So just picture this... books and papers and laptops and cords and snacks, SO many snacks, and literally stuff everywhere! Not the best environment for my type A personality. But we were all rolling with new changes. So I was going to embrace this chaos right?

I could let this result in crazy overwhelm and I could let this throw me for a loop and completely off track, and some days this definitely happened, but I could also use this time to let my guard down just a little and make this a time my kids will remember.

I can’t teach them their curriculum [thank goodness for the amazing teachers and technology for that] but, what I can teach them is resiliency, life skills, adaptability, and most importantly to have grace with themselves.

They miss their friends and their school and their normal routines and as much as they hated getting up on school days, they miss that too. So we’ve created a routine that gives us just a little bit of normalcy in our day-to-day.

They’ve been extra emotional and don’t understand why. Heck I’ve been extra emotional and don’t understand why! So the best way to get through all of this is to just have grace with each other.

There of been days where the workload is pretty heavy and our main focus is just getting through their daily tasks. But there are days were what we need is a road trip for an ice cream or a basketball tournament in the driveway or an afternoon with nothing but board games in our pajamas.

There are days we don’t know what we need and those are the days were I allow myself to just evade responsibility and schedules and just be.

We’re going to remember this time no matter what, so why not make it a time to create memories that we didn’t have time for before.

I don’t know about you but so often the kids were asked to do something or bake something or go somewhere and my response was always, "guys we just don’t have time". And the guilt of that would always eat me alive but, it was our reality... it’s a lot of people's reality.

But you know what we have right now? Time...we have all kinds of time. 

If your kids are acting out a little more than normal right now just try to understand that their world is totally different than their used to. And on the days that you feel overwhelmed and that you’re not doing enough, just remember this is brand new to all of us and we are doing the very best we can. 

So, remember if you miss the Google meet because you simply forgot,  or your kid didn’t ace their spelling test because maybe they didn’t study enough, or tears of frustration happen because, well grade 5 math is ridiculous,  just close the book and take a minute.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, chances are they are too. You’re doing your best,  the teachers are doing their best and our kids are doing their best! What more can we ask for right now.

So if a frustrated meltdown happens or your child seems to need a little bit more space, maybe a little extra screen time or an extra PJ day or two a week, don’t beat yourself up.

They're not frustrated with you.

I don’t claim to be any kind of parenting or behaviour expert but, raising five kids three of whom are teenagers, I’ve learned that sometimes they just need grace. And mama so do you!

Go easy on yourself and go easy on them, and if every day doesn’t go exactly as planned that’s OK.

During the first couple weeks of this new normal, I found myself filling my calendar with fun activities, art projects, things to bake and new things to try and I’m not gonna lie,  the excitement of that wore off pretty quick. I was feeling a little bit burnt out trying to keep up with everything and trying to give them a new exciting experience every single day. I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job if I wasn’t providing these things... but you know what... when I allowed myself to slow those things down, after an overwhelmed meltdown one night.... they barely noticed! 

They don’t need all of that. They just need me.

They need each other.

They need connection and love and normalcy. 

They need grace.

If you take one thing away from this message, let it be this.... have grace with them but, most importantly have grace with yourself. 

Don’t set your expectations so high.

Enjoy this time.

We can absolutely come out of this stronger and more connected but, it all starts with having grace! 

You got this!

Much love, 

J