Your Past Does Not Define You
Hey friends!
I want to tell you a little story.
Settle in...
This is a story about a young girl that lived a mediocre life. She was a little misguided and misunderstood, but didn’t know any different. She went about her days with no real excitement or expectations of herself. She wasn’t overly happy, felt a little sorry for herself at times, didn’t have any real passions or get too excited about too much. She had a circle of good friends but only kept a few really close. She was fine.
She began to noticed others around her trying new things and talking about these big dreams they had... this was crazy to her!
DID THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THEY COULD ACHIEVE THESE THINGS?
THESE THINGS THAT SEEM SO OUT OF REACH, SO UNATTAINABLE?
They must have some sort of privileged life she thought. The seemed to get really excited and fired up when they discussed their plans out loud.
Travelling, law school, opening businesses…. NO WAY COULD SHE DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT! How the heck could they?!
So, she stayed in her lane, continued about her way, continued on the familiar path, but something was missing. She felt a void, felt unfulfilled, unsatisfied Eventually, she started to see that her normal was very different from their normal.
WHAT WAS HOLDING HER BACK, WHAT WAS STANDING IN HER WAY?
Surely, this had to be on someone else. It was surely someone else’s fault she felt this way.
She began to feel victimized by an unfair environment. She questioned, why her? All the time. Why did they have opportunity and she didn't?
WHY WERE THEY SO LUCKY?
She began to believe the untruths spoken to her and the names she was called became her identity.
SHE PUT THE POWER IN THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO HAD TAUGHT HER TO PLAY SMALL AND ONLY PROVED THEM RIGHT,
Eventually, any fire that may have existed in her went out and she didn’t dare dream outside of the box she’d been placed in. She felt sorry for herself. And eventually became angry and defiant and resentful.
Then, one day, after years inside of this ugly mindset, she looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize the person she saw.There was no sparkle, no excitement, no drive…
Just an uninspired girl, feeling sorry for herself, simply going through the motions to get to the finish line.
Eventually this turned into a darkness act had her questioning any purpose at all!
There had to be more to life than this!
How did those people find the courage to go after things that seemed so out of reach?!
How were they so serious about pursuing and actually achieving such great things?!
She found herself craving just a little bit of what they were experiencing.She just had to figure out how they got it!
It was then that she decided…
IT WAS UP TO HER!
No one else.
This was HER responsibility. It was time to take responsibility for her life. She COULD do great things.She WOULD do great things. She HAD talents to share and knowledge to offer. And she, in fact, was worthy!
She was going to be great and do great things. And she realized that if she was feeling this way, others must be feeling the same way as well, so she would help them see this too!
This was it!
She knew that if she was going to do the great things and make a difference in this world, it was going to be up to her!
And ONLY her!
She had to stop the victim mentality immediately. She wasn’t a victim, she was a FREAKING warrior!
SHE SURVIVED THINGS THAT MADE HER STRONG! She was better than the darkness that tried to overtake her.
She’d march forward, even though her path looked different from others! This was, in fact, HER path and she was going to pave it! It didn’t matter what she’d been told she was or wasn’t capable of. It didn’t matter what others thought she could or couldn’t do. It certainly didn’t matter what those ahead of her were doing, because she was going to do this for herself! And no one else!
And when she made that decision...
The game changed!
She Spread her wings and decided it was time to fly. She wasn’t totally sure where she was headed but she had big ideas big dreams and big hopes for what she could accomplish.
What she WOULD accomplish!
Now, This is a pretty short summarized version of many years of feeling the way she felt. This mindset did not occur overnight. It took years of growing and failing and succeeding and watching and learning. Years that made her decide it was her turn.
First a child, then a teenager ,then a young adult stuck in the mindframe of going through the motions.
Stuck on a path with no clear direction. Just going through the motions. After a lifetime of this feeling she finally decided she could be more.
It took her into her adult years which, to some( even herself at times) might feel like it’s too late, that she lost too many years to start now...
But she realized that she required that lifetime of experience and being held back and holding herself back to get to where she is today.
I don’t know if there’s ever a finish line.
I feel as though we’re always growing and changing and reaching for more and if we’re not , perhaps we should be?
So as I sit inside of my 30s getting closer to my 40s actually, I reflect back upon the life of this little girl who felt destined to do nothing great but defied the odds And decided she’d prove the world wrong.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY, my friend, is this...
Your past does not define you.
I repeat ...your past does not define you!
It does not dictate your worth and credibility, your success, anything.
The path you choose is up to you.
The path that was laid before you or the path maybe you were put upon doesn’t need to be the path you follow...you get to choose that path.
You may feel some push back on that because it might make people feel uncomfortable, especially those who had a part in laying out the path they believe you should follow.
But your job is not to make them feel comfortable, your job is to live the very best life you can live.
Your job is to give yourself the chance to grow and succeed like you can.
You can break the mould of what shaped you.
You can reframe it.
You can write your own story and determine your own way.
And those who want to join you, they will and those who don’t, well they won’t.
And that might be a little hard to swallow at first but guess what, it’ll be OK.
You’re made for more than the box you were placed inside.
More than the limiting beliefs you were made to believe about yourself and what you were capable of.
The successes or failures of those before you don’t define what your successes or failures will, or should, look like.
You are in control of two things in your journey and those are your attitude and your effort.
And those two things are either going to take you far, or they’re not,
That’s up to you, so be mindful of this. Be mindful of your attitude toward where you’re headed and the effort you put in to how you’re going to get there.
The bottom line here is that if you are going to be more and you are going to follow the things that are calling on your heart, it is going to be up to you and only you.
Those things that are calling on your heart are there for a reason,
So listen to them, chase them, define them and understand them.
Then turn those big dreams into actionable goals because a dream broken into steps becomes a plan and a plan backed by action becomes a reality.
So it’s pretty simple, you can see with this how you can turn your dreams into a reality, you just have to be willing to do the work.
And that is what the girl in the story did she worked, she freaking worked!
She was determined to defy her odds and did just that!
She shifted her mindset and went for it regardless of what she was told she was capable of.
Don’t listen to them, listen to yourself, listen to your heart.
Maybe you’ve heard the quote before that “other people’s opinions are none of your business!”
I agree with this very much, their opinions are a reflection of them, not you.
BUT there are exceptions!
There are going to be people who offer their opinions on the choices you make... AND it’s up to you what you do with that information and what value you put on their opinion.
There are people who will offer their opinion from a good place and some from a place of curiosity, jealousy or just not understanding.
Weigh up their opinion and decide what you’ll do with it.
More often than not, at least in my experience, opinions are offered when what you’re doing seems risky or uncertain.
The opinion shared is their way of telling you what they would do, how they would act or respond
So like I said, it’s up to you what value you place on it.
When preconceived ideas are placed in your mind of a path you should follow and opinions are offered on why or how you should follow it, it can be hard to steer your own ship.
But I promise you, you know what is best for you.
Your gut OR intuition will guide you.
Listen to it.
That feeling that pulls you toward or away from something, that is your intuition.
Your intuition is shaped by past experiences.... AND the more you listen to it the stronger it becomes.
Learn to listen, learn to trust in it.
Allow yourself to sit with those feelings and your intuition WILL guide you!
Your intuition, attitude and effort will lead you where you’re supposed to go!
Now I’d like to know
Do you ever feel stuck inside your own head?
Or stuck inside the expectations of others?
Do you ever feel like you should be following a certain path but your heart is pulling you in a different direction?
Well, I promise you you’re not alone in those feelings!
Those feelings are very normal!
In fact, you may always have those feelings in the back of your mind.
But you need to decide,
Where is it that you want to go?
What future do you see for yourself?
Create it!
Build it!
The hardest part of this can be creating an action plan.
So here’s your challenge...
WRITE DOWN YOUR DREAM,
Your ultimate dream
Then make a list of goals to reach to get you there.
Goals that will aid in your path to where you’d like to end up.
Now pick the one goal you want to reach first. (Because yes you can only achieve one at a time!)
Now take that goal and break it down into actionable steps to get you there...
Remember like I said, a dream turned into a goal backed by actionable steps becomes a reality!
It takes out the overwhelm and makes reaching that ultimate dream much more attainable!
Believe me!
You may head to jodidancause.com and grab the Goal Setting worksheet from the Resource Shop to help you out!
Then i want to hear from you! Find me on all social platforms at jodidancause, drop me a comment or a message when you’re done!!
Can’t wait to hear how you do!
Jodi